haven't gotten some enough sleep. Thinking too much lately. Realizing that everyone is comparing me to that 'mushroom ' person. Yeah, I know that is like heaven and earth between me and him. So that mean that I've to forget above Buttercookies. Almost 90% of them thinks so. But still ( how stuborn ), I've to believe that she wasn't that materialistic girl, chasing people with looks and also cars ( ? ). I just don't know, maybe leaving for KL try to find a decent job there and try to forget everything and also every dream about her. Listening to Showbizz, try to find which are my true feeling. Because I've got confused, mad, angry, sad, happy. Just don't know which one is true. "Controlling my feelings far too long "..................am I losing the unknown battle the hard way or there still some twist anywhere....will it worth it...I'm leaving that question for some time....